Monday, April 27, 2009

Telemarketers and writing a Murder Mystery

It has been One of those Days...actually, make that Nights!

Ever been sound asleep after hours of tossing and turning, just to be rudely awakened by a telemarketers call? Well let me tell you, as a writer I tend to stay up late writing. Many days, the night turns into daylight before I actually go to bed. It’s one of the perks of being a writer. I can keep my own hours…at least in theory.

Last night was one of those nights I actually went to bed at mid-night. That is the good news. Bad news, my post-polio kept me awake until 4:00 am. Finally, I managed to get comfortable enough to drift into a blessed sleep. AH! Dream land…truly a gift after hours of tossing and turning in pain. At 9:15 am the shrill ringing of the telephone woke me up. Since I was half asleep, and still writing a novel in my sleep…the conversation went something like this.

Hello Mrs. Trollinger. This is Dish Network calling with a wonderful upgrade offer for your TV programming.

Helllllooo! Cough! Who did you say is calling?

OH! I’m sorry, did I wake you?

Well actually no. I was in the middle of writing my new "Murder Mystery," and I was plotting out how the villain could reach through a phone line and choke the life out of a Telemarketer. I was just in the middle of writing about the trial of said Villain/Hero. I was trying to work out how the Villain would get off Scott free by using the old “THEY DROVE ME TO INSANITY DEFENSE.”

You have been a big help to me. I think I will rewrite the first chapter.

How does this sound. He builds a robot phone that doesn’t kill any telemarketers instantly. It just ties them up and tortures them for months in a room full of ringing telephones 24/7 and never lets them sleep.Finally they expire of sheer exhaustion. Do you think it would sell?

Hello! Hello! HMMM>>> I guess they hung up. OH! Well, I think I will take a nap. I am sure to come up with another twist if I just sleep on it.


Esther said...

This is so funny! ;)

Christine Trollinger said...

For some reason the Telemarketer didn't seem to think it would be a good book. HUMPH! Obviously they don't like Murder Mysteries. LOL!

Macile Hooper LeJeune said...

Ohe, mags; mags; mags, ma cherie. I have not laughed that much in months. In fact, I seem to seldom smile anymore. And I do NOT like Murder Mysteries ... but if you find out how to build that 'robot phone' ... put me first on the list to buy it. *smile* ... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooo
DIEU TE BENISSE!!! Cajun Sissy

Leslie K. said...

I LOVE IT - can I write the screenplay once the novel comes out?

Christine Trollinger said...

Of course you can Leslie...I would not trust anyone but you to write it.


Christine Trollinger said... will get the first copy.