Thursday, February 20, 2014

Telemarketers and writing a Murder Mystery


It has been One of those Days...actually, make that Nights!

Ever been sound asleep after hours of tossing and turning, just to be rudely awakened by a telemarketers call? Well let me tell you, as a writer I tend to stay up late writing. Many days, the night turns into daylight before I actually go to bed. It’s one of the perks of being a writer. I can keep my own hours…at least in theory.

Last night was one of those nights I actually went to bed at mid-night. That is the good news. Bad news, my post-polio kept me awake until 4:00 am. Finally, I managed to get comfortable enough to drift into a blessed sleep. AH! Dream land…truly a gift after hours of tossing and turning in pain. At 9:15 am the shrill ringing of the telephone woke me up. Since I was half asleep, and still writing a novel in my sleep…the conversation went something like this.

Hello Mrs. Trollinger. This is Dish Network calling with a wonderful upgrade offer for your TV programming.

Helllllooo! Cough! Who did you say is calling?

OH! I’m sorry, did I wake you?

Well actually no. I was in the middle of writing my new "Murder Mystery," and I was plotting out how the villain could reach through a phone line and choke the life out of a Telemarketer. I was just in the middle of writing about the trial of said Villain/Hero. I was trying to work out how the Villain would get off Scott free by using the old “THEY DROVE ME TO INSANITY DEFENSE.”

You have been a big help to me. I think I will rewrite the first chapter.

How does this sound. He builds a robot phone that doesn’t kill any telemarketers instantly. It just ties them up and tortures them for months in a room full of ringing telephones 24/7 and never lets them sleep.Finally they expire of sheer exhaustion. Do you think it would sell?

Hello! Hello! HMMM>>> I guess they hung up. OH! Well, I think I will take a nap. I am sure to come up with another twist if I just sleep on it.

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